I think I found the best way to tell someone they have nice hair: you look follicool.

But here's the thing: you are a salad. You can't escape it, you are a salad.

Repurpose the tears, man.

We also aren't supposed to mold. But we do it anyway. We all mold eventually.

Funjis. Why isn't that a word?

I really want to be an entrepreneur of literal death.

Crunk. *Proceeds by thoroughly licking all his fingers clean of salt*

Mother, where is the book that allows me into other countries?

That's what we all are in retrospect ... just little crinkles on the fabric we call earth.

That's my SoundCloud name: skinny fry.